The Introvert’s Guide To Networking
For all you introverted creatives who want to network but don’t know how…
I used to be the queen of isolating.
My favorite place to be as a child was in my room drawing or crafting.
I always loved a good safe, comfy, and quiet space.
But over the years, I’ve learned that too much alone time isn’t great for my mental health, love life, or career.
I used to really struggle with all the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that I’d have when I was around other people – especially in group situations.
I would freeze, sweat, shake and have terrible social anxiety.
Then, I turned to drugs and alcohol, thinking that would help soothe my awkward introverted soul.
But – spoiler alert – that just made things worse.
Luckily, I got sober about 9 years ago and it forced me to learn social skills.
🌟 I learned how to share more about what was going on in my life in front of groups.
🌟 I learned how to reach out for help when I was struggling.
🌟 I learned how to be of service and a good listener.
🌟 And I also learned how to process those uncomfortable thoughts and feelings a bit more.
Another place I've learned more social skills is through my career.
When I worked as an art consultant at a gallery in the Napa Valley, I had a boss that made me get up and talk to every person that walked in the door.
Not just a simple, “Hello, how are you?” either.
She wanted me to interrogate them (or so I thought). She called it “qualifying.”
“Qualifying” is asking a series of questions to find out if the person is interested in purchasing art aka being a “qualified buyer.”
Thinking back to the first few days I tried my bosses “qualifying” suggestions; I still cringe. She even had me role play with her when the gallery was empty.
At one point, I was so overwhelmed by it all, and my lack of finesse, that I just broke down in tears and ran to the bathroom.
But I kept trying, and experimenting, and gaining a bit of confidence in myself over time.
And by the time I left the gallery years later I was the top sales person with over $4 million of fine art sales.
So the moral of the story is, if I can do it, so can you.
I know how hard it can be to get out there and be social or network, but I swear to you this is the #1 skill to learn if you want to be successful in your career (and life).
Just in case you need some help, I’ve got you covered!
Here is my introvert's guide to networking:
Be clear on the goal, which is to build rapport quickly so that it doesn’t feel like there’s an invisible wall between you and the other person.
After saying hello to a new person, or person you don’t know very well, allow yourself to get curious about them and begin to ask them questions.
Ask questions! People love talking about themselves, and this is a great way to give them the stage, especially if you feel nervous to talk about yourself.
Some of my go to questions are:
✅ Do you live around here?
✅ What part of town do you live in?
✅ Where are you located?
✅ Is this your first time here?
✅ How do you and so-and-so know each other?
✅ How did you hear about this place/event?
Bonus:
Make sure to share parts of yourself with them as you ask questions so that it doesn’t come off as an interrogation. I learned the hard way.
Let’s practice!
I would say something like, “Oh cool, you live in mid city, I’m near Santa Monica.”
Then you can start asking questions again, like…
✅ Did you grow up there?
✅ How long have you lived there?
✅ Where did you move from?
And then once again, inject some facts about you into the conversation, like…
“Nice, I grew up in Napa and moved to LA 8 years ago.”
➡️ What made you decide to move here? (I moved to LA because of the art scene.”)
Blah blah blah…by then you should have found something to connect on and if not, keep digging to see what their interests are. Things like, what do they do for fun? What kind of things do they do on the weekend? Have they seen any good shows lately? Have they gone to any good restaurants lately?
Ask these questions to look for points of connection and commonality to build rapport.
There are other ways to build rapport such as body language and eye contact. But being an active listener and asking insightful questions, will go a long way!
If you’d like to learn more about building your social skills and growing your network, this is exactly the type of work I do with my 1:1 clients.
Wouldn’t you love to have an ever growing community of like minded creatives that you can share and ask for feedback with? What if your network inspired and celebrated you?? How amazing would it be to find other talented successful creatives to align and socialize with??
I’m here to tell you it’s completely possible and easier than you think.
If this sounds like something you're interested in, then schedule a free 60 minute Career Strategy Consultation and figure out what’s needed to make it happen.
Based on the information we discuss, we'll chat about next steps and whether or not 1:1 coaching would be helpful for you.
Talk soon!
Lauryn